Addressing Things Unsaid
by Vicky Ocean
Summary: Shada and Karrde learn some new things about each other. Talon Karrde/Shada D'ukal. Part 9 of Scenes From A Peculiar Affair series.


Shada had spent a long relaxing soak in the tub reading a mindlessly entertaining holonovel and trying to ease the ache in her sore muscles after her sparing session with H'sishi. It had been quite some time since she had gone up against an opponent so much bigger and stronger than herself. Even if she didn't necessarily get into as many physical confrontations as she used to she didn't want to get complacent and lax.

A faint sound caught her ears. She paused in unfolding the covers on the bed and listened intently. It sounded like music, muffled as if coming from downstairs. She knew she hadn't left it on herself and Karrde was away on a run to the _Errant Venture_. Shada slipped on a robe over her thin nightgown and pulled a blaster from the nightstand, sticking it into her pocket. She crept silently down the stairs. She peeked into the living room and to her surprise Karrde sitting in the sofa reading a datapad with a glass of wine in his hand. He looked very relaxed with his shirt untucked and his boots off with his feet propped up on the ottoman.

She released her grip on her blaster and gave him a pleased smile as she came into the living room. "You're back early." He wasn't supposed to be back for another couple of days at least.

He returned her smile and set his datapad aside. "They were less quarrelsome than I had anticipated."

She walked over to him. "That's refreshing to hear."

Karrde reached for her, sliding a hand underneath her robe. It was warm on her hip through the thin silk of her nightgown. "Isn't it? Although I'm sure they'll make up for it next time." He pulled her down onto his lap.

"No doubt." She leaned down meeting his lips in a heated kiss letting him know exactly how much she had missed him.

After they pulled apart he reached over to the end table picking up a small box. He handed it to her. "I brought you something back."

He rarely traveled without her, but when he did he always brought her something back to let her know he was thinking of her, missing her though he never outright said the words 'I missed you.' They never spoke of those kinds of feelings.

She opened the box and nestled inside was a beautiful silver cuff bracelet. It was decorated with stylized flowers enameled in bright colors. "It's lovely. Thank you." She leaned down and gave him another kiss. She slipped the bracelet on her arm and stood to admire it in the light.

"If you're not too tired, will you have a glass of wine and sit with me for a little while?" Karrde always needed a bit of time to unwind from a run and was never able to go straight to bed even if he got in late at night.

"Of course."

Shada accepted the glass of wine he poured for her and sat down next to him, tucking her bare feet under her. "Have you eaten?" she asked.

"I stopped by the commissary kitchen for quick bite after we arrived," he assured her. "I assumed were already in bed by now. Aves said you and H'sishi had sparred this evening."

"I had a long bath. She really wore me out. It's a good reminder that I'm not as young as I used to be."

"None of us are, my dear. I'm sorry I missed it though. I do like to see you in action." She knew he did. It always turned him on to see her wipe the floor with her opponent. Although in this instance it was pretty much a draw.

"It wasn't anything too serious. We both needed a good workout." She held out her glass for him to refill. "So what did Booster have to say?"

"He sends his regards to you, of course." Karrde filled both their glasses. "He also tells me Mirax is expecting another child."

"I'll have to send Mirax my congratulations in the morning. They must be very excited." Mirax had told her a while ago that she and Corran were trying again and she was happy for them.

"They are. I think Booster's hoping this one will be a girl and take after Mirax rather than Corran."

Shada laughed. "I know Booster loves to brag that his grandson will be a Jedi one day, but it would serve him right if Valin joined CorSec instead."

Karrde smiled at that. "I would like to see that." He did so like to torment Booster.

The warm relaxation lingering from her bath and the rather potent wine combined to make her feel languid. She slid down on the sofa and lay with her head resting in his lap. It was nice to have him back. He picked up his datapad and began reading again. She thought about going upstairs to retrieve her holonovel but she was just too comfortable to move. After a bit she asked, "Was there anyone of interest on the _Venture_?"

"Hmm?"

She glanced up at him at his distracted reply. He had a perplexed look on his face. "What are you reading?"

"Oh, the new novel by that writer who has been fictionalizing the events surrounding the Rebellion's major engagements."

"Is it any good?"

"Not really. Overly melodramatic." He took a sip of his wine. "Though I do wonder at the source of his information. He has some details here that aren't generally well known."

"Maybe we should investigate." Shada closed her eyes feeling pleasantly content. One of Karrde's hands was in her loose hair, stroking it. His blunt nails deliciously scratched her scalp. She lay there listening to the music as he continued to read, occasionally typing out a note to himself. She enjoyed these moments of quiet relaxation with him without work or some sort of crisis intruding. They seemed so far and few between. "Is this what normal people do all the time?" she asked in jest.

"Are we not normal?" he asked absently.

She opened her eyes and gave him a questioning look.

"Well, perhaps not." His lips quirked up into a smile. He set the datapad down and drank the remainder of the wine in his glass. "We could always give up this life of adventure and retire to some nice little out of the way planet like Gillespee and Car'das."

She had thought about that from time to time. They weren't exactly young anymore and they'd both been fighting all their lives in one way or another.

"Become Mister and Mistress Nobody," he continued humor evident in his voice, his hand still combing through her hair. "Maybe a youngling or two?"

She stiffened and her expression turned solemn as she gazed up at him trying to gage how serious he was. "Do you expect me to bear your children?" she asked. Children were another thing they never discussed, but she had gotten the impression during their years together that he wasn't interested in having any of his own. He was well into his fifth decade and she into her fourth, not exactly prime ages for child producing.

His brow furrowed in confusion as he studied her. "No, of course not. I'm far too old and selfish to think about children at this point in my life." He paused still searching her face, then added with a note of apprehension entering his voice, "Unless, of course, you do?"

She relaxed slightly, relieved by his answer. "No, I never wanted children. I couldn't even have them now if I did want them."

"What do you mean?" Karrde asked, a mix of concern and curiosity evident on his face.

"The Mistryl are sterilized when we dedicate ourselves. Our loyalty is supposed to be to the Shadow Guard and Emberlene as a whole not to our family. I thought you would have known that."

"No, I didn't." His expression softened. "Have you never regretted that?" he asked gently.

"No. Emberlene is no place to raise children. If I hadn't become a Mistryl, I wouldn't have wanted my child to know such misery as I did growing up."

He nodded. "I understand."

She sat up and eyed him warily. "So, it doesn't bother you that I'm sterile?" She'd never considered that before. She knew some men might take issue with that despite their protests that they didn't want children.

Karrde shook his head. "Trust me, your value to me has nothing to do with your breeding abilities." She could tell his curiosity was piqued by the subject of Mistryl customs though. "Were you expected to stay chaste as well?

"No. Sex can be useful an advantage as any other weapon." She saw the question in his eyes that he was too polite to give voice. "And, yes, I did find it useful on occasion." She studied him. He was trying to keep his expression neutral but he wasn't entirely successful. "That bothers you."

He paused, carefully choosing his words. "Well, I suppose I don't like that you were ordered to do such things."

"We were never ordered to have sex with anyone," she told him truthfully. "It was our choice and sometimes it was the right choice to make. Can you tell me that your employees have never used sex to gain a piece of information for you?"

"No. You're right. It's not something I would order or necessarily sanction, but I leave those decisions to my operatives' discretion." He sighed and smiled ruefully. "I suppose I'm just feeling possessive of you again. My apologies." He reached out and took her hand, pressing a kiss to it.

"And did you keep yourself chaste before you met me?" she asked with a teasing smile.

He looked even more chagrined. "No. If only I had met you earlier my life."

"Don't try to charm your way out of this. You know if we had met earlier while I was still a Mistryl, none of this would have happened. Certainly not if you were my employer."

"Yes, we both used to have that rule, didn't we? Still it's shame. We make such a good team. Think about what we could have accomplished if we had joined forces earlier."

"You talk as if you didn't already have the galaxy in your pocket before I met you." She leaned into him and he wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "You didn't even break your rule with Mara?" Shada had always been curious about that. She never sensed anything romantic between them, but they had worked closely together for so long and there had been rumors, of course.

"No. I won't deny I find her a very beautiful woman, but there was never that sort of attraction between us. For the most part, I've always tried to avoid romantic entanglements. I generally preferred professional women when I felt the need for such company. It was much more convenient when it was only a business arrangement."

His admission didn't surprise her as much as it should have. They'd both been driven toward their own goals most of their life. Not really realizing how lonely they both were.

"It is a shame we didn't meet earlier," she said agreeing with his earlier sentiments. She took his hand running a finger over the signet ring she had given him.

"So shall we make plans to retire and make up for lost time minus the younglings?" He sounded serious. She leaned her head back to examine the expression on his face. He did look sincere.

"We'd both probably go mad from boredom," she told him. As much as she knew they cared for each other she still worried that their relationship would fall apart without their shared work.

"Perhaps a vacation then?" he suggested.

She laughed. It seemed an absurd thought. "Do people in our line of work take vacations?"

"Of course they do. We probably need it more than most. Haven't you even been on a vacation?"

"No, Mistryl don't really vacation." She rested her head back on his shoulder. "I'd have a day or two of downtime on a pleasant world sometimes but that was about it."

"I happen to know Mazzic had a penchant for pleasure worlds," Karrde said. "Didn't he ever take you with him?"

"A female bodyguard would have cramped his style."

"I see. Well, I can assure you, you won't cramp mine."' He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "Where would you like to go?"

"Be serious, Talon. We both can't just drop everything and go off pleasure bent." They had spent almost every moment of the past couple of years keeping the intelligence sharing network running smoothly.

"Why not? You know, Aves will be very upset to learn that you don't trust him to keep things going for a month or so."

"It's not that. It's that-"

"You don't like not being in control."

"You don't either," she retorted, more sharply than she had intended.

He ran a hand over her hair in a soothing gesture. "No, but I have worked very hard to build an organization that won't fall apart should anything happen to me."

She sighed, "I suppose you're right."

"I'm always right," he said and she rolled her eyes at him. "So let's go away for a while. Tell me where have you always wanted to go?"

"I don't know." She didn't even begin to know how to pick a vacation spot. Yet another skill the Mistryl didn't teach her. "Surprise me."

His eyes lit up at that idea. "Very well. I will do that."

The End


End file.
